Let me tell you a story. In January 2020, I had a conversation with a friend. It was about boys, but was also a little about God. She explained how two great men over the last few months had been placed in her life. One had been fun, and great, but the timing was terrible. You see, they lived in separate states, and their careers didn’t make much time for a relationship, so she didn’t pursue it.
Flash forward a month or so and a different guy enters her life unexpectedly – a mutual friend. They’re conversations lasted for hours, they’re connection was unexplainable right off the bat, and at any other time in her life… he would have been an amazing man to be with. But… they’re connection happened at the worst possible time. She was, again, only in the same state for the briefest of times (a few days at most). It was swift, and then it was gone. And she asked me why God’s timing seems to be so confusing sometimes. Why is it that He brought, not one, but two, incredible men into her life, only to make it apparent that ‘now’ wasn’t the right time?
I didn’t have much wisdom to offer her. To be honest, God and I weren’t super close at the time. But I’m guessing that even if we were, the answer to one of humanities biggest questions since the beginning of time wasn’t one He would just ‘send my way’…
No, I didn’t have much to offer her. A hug, at the very minimum. But I remember thinking that I wanted to write a blog post about God’s (confusing, sometimes ridiculous, always perfect) timing.
That was in January. Since then… some things have happened… making God’s timing all the more prevalent of a question.
I still don’t have much wisdom, but I do know that the backbone of a relationship with God is one very important thing; trust. It’s also the hardest thing to maintain, and sometimes the order in which God works makes it nearly impossible.
Why does He put people in our life at, what seem to be, the worst possible times?
Why does he challenge us during seasons when we’re already experiencing hardship?
Do you remember that time (probably multiple times) when your parents punished you in, what seemed to be, the most unreasonable way? You were probably 9…12… and they said something like, “You’ll understand one day.”
I know its cliché to compare God’s reasons to our parents, but I have to think that in God’s eyes we’re all his children, and every time he does something we don’t understand, He’s saying to us, “You’ll understand one day.”
The thing is, God doesn’t control our lives. He’s not a puppeteer, or any kind of dictator. His plan from the very beginning included giving us, you, and me, free will; and with it the freedom to choose our own actions, words, and everything else. We know this, I know this, but sometimes don’t fully comprehend why that is. So I dove into it with some serious research…
You know the love potion in Harry Potter? (If you have no idea what I’m talking about, do your best). The idea is that whoever drinks a love potion falls in love with the person who gave it to them. But, it’s not exactly love… not really. It’s more of a weird affection or puppy-like obsession & obedience. Anyone watching it unfold can tell pretty quickly that it was manipulated or forced somehow, making it… kind of pointless.
Without free will, wouldn’t our love for God be the same? If he was a dictator, he could easily force us all to love Him and live our lives however he wanted, but then wouldn’t it be… kind of pointless?
The beauty is in our choice. Choosing to love a person, choosing to trust them, that’s what makes it meaningful, and that’s what God wants; for us to choose Him.
He gave us free will so that our choice to love him would be a thousand times more meaningful.
The hardest part is that thing every true, loving relationship needs… Remember? Trust. And trusting in God means trusting His timing. This is a bad news-good news kind of situation. The bad new is that there’s no cookie-cutter way, or 3-step-guide on how to do that. The good news is that there IS prayer, and scripture, and maybe a little help from some super wise people.
“A man’s mind plan’s his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” (Proverbs 16:9)
“For I know the plans I have for you.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every purpose.”
“If God sends you many sufferings it is a sign that he has great plans for you, and certainly wants to make you a saint.”
– St. Ignatius of Loyola
And lastly, a truly powerful one:
“I see that God never tries us beyond what we are able to suffer. Oh, I fear nothing; if God sends such great sufferings to a soul, He upholds it with an even greater grace, though we are not aware of it. One act of trust in such moments gives more glory to God than whole hours passed in prayer filled with consolation.”
~ St. Faustina
In the waters of our lives, God might create small ripples or movements, or he might cause a storm so great we awake on opposite land. In the moment, we may not understand. Four years down the line, we might still not know why. All we can do is try every day to choose Him, and his plan – the best possible one there is.
“No one said it would be easy.”
I can’t remember who said that.
