Mental illness causes a special kind of suffering – an especially difficult kind of suffering. But why would God let someone go through this horrific type of suffering? This is something that we may not be able to fully answer… but we can look to scripture to try and help us!
A couple months ago, the story of Lazarus being raised from the dead was a big theme in my life, and kept popping up in many different ways. One way, for example, was when the chaplain at my college prayed over me, he said he was thinking of that story, and how Christ will raise me from the dead as he did Lazarus. I didn’t really get what he meant at the time, but now it all makes sense. I was struggling with depression and anxiety at the time and was very stressed from schoolwork. But when I was doing research for my theology capstone, I was reading the book “Wandering in Darkness” by Eleonore Stump, and the story of Lazarus popped up again! It explained the story in terms of why God may let us suffer sometimes, and it was extremely eye opening and profound for me, so I want to share what it was about.
In John chapter 11, the story of Lazarus takes place. Lazarus is a man who becomes very sick. His sisters, Mary and Martha, send word to Jesus of Lazarus’ illness. They wanted Jesus to heal Lazarus. However, after hearing Lazarus was ill, Jesus stayed where He was for 2 more days, seeming to ignore the cry of help from the sisters. He didn’t heal Lazarus when Mary and Martha asked Him to, and Lazarus winds up dying. Then Jesus, after the two days, decides to go to where Lazarus is. By the time Jesus and His disciples arrived, Lazarus had been dead in the tomb for 4 days. The sisters were mourning and told Jesus that if He had come when they asked Him to, their brother would not be dead. Jesus saw them, along with many others, mourning over Lazarus’ death, and He was moved to tears. Jesus wept. He then had them roll the stone away and raised Lazarus from the dead! And “many of the Jews who had come to visit Mary, and had seen what Jesus did, put their faith in Him” (John 11:45).
So Christ let Lazarus die so that many would come to believe in Him. But what about Lazarus, Martha, and Mary? They had to endure much suffering and pain in order for God to be glorified. Why would God let them suffer for His own glory?
Here’s the thing. Yes, God was glorified greatly through their suffering – and we know that this is applied to us as well. When we suffer, if we unite our suffering to Christ, God can be glorified greatly and our suffering can become redemptive. But still… why would God allow suffering simply for His own glory?
Well, if we look back at the story of Lazarus, we can see that not only was God glorified, but Lazarus, Martha, and Mary were as well! In the book, Eleonore Stump says, “God’s flourishing in not augmented when human beings praise Him; their flourishing is.” Eleonore stump also writes:
“Before she understood His plan, Mary thought that Jesus had betrayed her trust, and that therefore, to that extent, He did not love her. But with the raising of Lazarus she must come to see something of the original plan. She must see that Jesus has in mind both giving her the very thing she wanted, her brother Lazarus, and also giving her something beyond her imagination to desire, her own greatness and honor. To understand that plan is also to understand the deep love in His heart for her that motivated it.”
In the next chapter, there is a dinner party. And Lazarus is the only one of the three of them seated at the table with Jesus. Martha is serving and Mary is at Jesus’ feet anointing them with oil. You see, Christ gave the greatest glory to Lazarus, the one who died. Lazarus sat with honor at the table with Jesus, and Martha and Mary were given all that they wanted and more. All were given glory and honor by taking part and being named in this incredible miracle that has been told throughout the ages and has brought many to believe in Christ and His love. You see, they are all an integral part of the story, and it couldn’t have taken place without them.
Now, this all happened around the time that I released my letter for The Catholic Woman blog. I was receiving tons of messages and emails from people talking about how my story helped them, made them feel like they weren’t alone, and helped them understand that God was still with them throughout their struggles. It was very humbling to be a part of these great realizations for so many people. To have been a mode for which the Lord could work in these people’s lives. And that would not have happened if I hadn’t experienced the suffering that I did. Christ may have let me “die” in a sense, but He’s truly raising me from the dead and giving me new life daily in so many ways.
So, if you are suffering with mental illness, it may seem unfair that you have to undergo such intense pain. And in some ways it is. And that pain is not good or from Christ, but Christ in His infinite goodness can make even such extreme and horrible suffering into something good. He can bring glory and honor to Himself, and therefore glory and honor to you! You may not know how right now, but He will. You may feel as though He has abandoned you to let you, in some ways, die. But He hasn’t. He has a special place in His heart for you, and He trusts you to persevere through whatever you are going though. Your suffering can be seen as a sign of Christ’s trust in you. And He will raise you from the dead, and bring you not only new life, but honor and greatness as well, while at the same time giving Him all the glory!
