The Pursuit of Love

Heyo, it’s been a while. Before my most recent post I had taken a pretty long break from blogging. And here’s why:

First off, my relationship with Christ was struggling. I pretty much stopped praying and felt like I was doing pretty alright by myself for a time being. I got the job I had been fervently praying for, so I was set. (or so I thought). Since then, I had pretty much walked away from my prayer life.

Secondly, my mental health has been in pretty alright shape lately. The mental illnesses that I struggle with have calmed down recently, which has been great! But because of that I felt less inspired to write since I normally write about my own experiences. And life lately has felt pretty blah.

Those are the main two reasons I stopped blogging. And here’s the thing: doing life without prayer is difficult. At least leading a virtuous and holy life is. It’s hard to maintain relationships, a faith life, and work when you’re not keeping Christ at the center. I fooled myself for a little while that it was fine, but things just got harder and harder. I got a second job that I felt Christ pull me towards, and just as I was starting that, my work as a photographer ramped up and I found myself extremely busy. This all stressed me out and I felt very overwhelmed (because I was trying to do it all on my own).

The Lord works so wonderfully, though. He continued to show up for me even when I wasn’t showing up for Him. He constantly gave me gentle reminders of His love throughout my days. One day in particular He loved me so well it woke me up. I realized that I need to invite Him into my work and entire life daily like I used to.

This particular day I was doing real estate photography. I was working and found out I had to drive all the way out to St Cloud to do photos for one house. I was stressed out from a crazy week, sick of driving, exhausted and just did not want to go. But when I got close to the house, I realized one of my all time favorite coffee shops (that doesn’t exist in the cities or anywhere in MN except St Cloud) was right by the house I was going to. It turned out that I had about an hour before I had to shoot the house, so I went and got some of my favorite coffee! While there I looked across the street and there was a beautiful cathedral. I thought to myself there’s no way I could go in because of Covid… but I decided to check their website. And guess what? They had adoration on the exact day at the exact time that I was there. It was the only day of the week that they did adoration. I was overjoyed. I went in and prayed with Jesus for a bit before going to my house. The amazing coffee and wonderful adoration that I was able to go to made me feel so loved and taken care of by the Lord.

What I’ve learned from this all is the incredible gift of Christ’s infinite mercy. He meets us in the struggle, he meets us in our efforts, and in our joys. But He also meets us when we completely fail. When we don’t show up, He still does! This ridiculous love is difficult to accept, but throughout trying to accept it myself I find that I am able to take it easier on myself when I’m not exactly where I want to be in terms of prayer, work, relationships, etc.

I want this blog to be a place where I share my honest struggles and joys in life, in hopes that it can bring hope, comfort, or joy to others lives. All I hope for is relatability to the difficulties or the consolations of this crazy life so that others can know that they are not alone or share in the joy of Christ. I am going to try to post more consistently, so if you have any suggestions or ideas for what you would like me to write about, leave a comment! Thanks for reading!

In Christ,

Kelsey